A is for Animals, Part 2

Koalas must be the most Asian looking animals in the world.  You keep your tigers and your pandas, Asia.  I don’t know exactly what it is, but koalas are one chopstick away from speaking Mandarin.  Just tell me that this koala doesn’t look like Mr Miyagi.


They are incredibly cute, with their soft grey fur and fluffy ears.  These particular koalas had a “petting schedule”.  Nothing erotic, just some regular stroking of some furry animals.  See, the koalas get really irritated if you touch them all the time, so they take it in turns to endure our sweaty palms.

Since these little guys need about 18 hours of sleep a day, it’s also just plain good manners to not wake them up constantly.  They’ve also got very sharp claws, a fair reminder that they are still wild animals and could very well pee on you if you get too close.

The koala we were staring at on this particular day, was hanging spread eagle across some branches, sleeping deeply, with his head slowly drooping down, very much like an old man who’s had too much to eat, and was dozing in front of the telly.

So like us.

My favourite Australia animal by far, is the hairy nosed wombat.

The Amazing Hairy Nosed Wombat

I could go on and try to explain their awesomeness to you, but in this case, pictures speak much louder than words.

Wombat balls, very impressive


A is for Animals, Part 1

Last week Sunday my beloved and I visited Caversham Wildlife Park.  I’d have preferred them to call it an “animal sanctuary” as the word “wildlife park” immediately brings to mind something like the Kruger national park, which is of course waaaaay off.  Firstly I have to congratulate Australia on their amazing birds.  I can’t remember when last I saw so many beautifully ruffled feathers, shimmering colours and heard so many different, irritating, high pitched squawks and squeals.

I think my favourite has to be the kookabara.  If I didn’t have  an actual photo, I would probably describe it as the love child of a kingfisher and a duck.

There is in fact a startling number of parrots just flying around everywhere, they love sitting next to the freeways, pecking away at I don’t know what.  The most common ones are grey, white and pink.  I’ve also seen green ones, pretty awesome.  And I’ve seen a magpie attack a man on a bike, repeatedly.  It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, the man on the bike didn’t seem to share my mirth.  Magpies are viciously territorial birds and should be avoided at all times.

Anyhoo, back to the animals.  It was imperative that I touch a kangaroo, koala and a wombat.  So far I haven’t really felt that I’m in Australia, I was hoping that our animal encounters would fix this.  It did.  Sort of.

Kangaroos are really not as exciting as

the movies and bloody Kangaroo Jack would make them

appear, for one thing,kangaroos cannot rap or talk.  Yes, they are very cute with their doe eyes, long lashes and soft fur.  But they can be rather gross too.  I saw many kangaroos have a wee and just lie down in it.  Maybe it was too warm and they wanted to cool down a bit, I’m not sure.  The inside of a kangaroo’s pouch is also not quite the way I imagined it.

Inside, it’s all loose flaps of pink, wet skin, nipples, arteries and who knows what else they keep in there.  Maybe they should keep some sunblock in there, I saw some badly burnt kangaroo ears, all crispy skin and peeling.  Hurl.

I picked the prettiest kangaroo and scratched him/her behind his/her ears.  It seemed to enjoy it, I know I did, I was in ASS-FREAKIN-STRALIA MATE!!  I only saw one kangaroo hop, he was followed by a very excited little girl, running on her short little legs, shouting, “Hop, hop, HOP!!”.  The rest of the roos were just lying around, scratching their asses and looking very dopey.  Disney got it wrong.  I hope to see a roo in the wild one day, skittish and dangerous when approached.

In the beginning…

My beloved and I have been in Australia for 7 weeks now, we immigrated permanently.  I thought I’d better write about it to stay sane.  Living in Australia, watching British TV (lived there for 8 years) surrounded by all our stuff shipped over from South Africa.  Mind sufficiently screwed.  Loving every second of it so far.

I don’t believe this blog will be particularly informative in any way for people who want to immigrate.  I’m not going to rehash the 4 year long process and all the paperwork involved, but I endeavour to show you Australia in all its glory, from the flora and fauna to the freeways and everything in between.